Of knights and princesses
by Binibining Paru-paro
Summary: Don't you ever wonder what Fuuko thinks about Yanagi, amd their relationship with in the Hokage? It's not yuri contrary to the beleif of some people... R&R please!
1. Default Chapter

Of Knights and Princesses

By: smeagol the neophyte

Disclaimer: Dun own, dun hurt…

A/N: This thing was written through the views/thoughts blah of Fuuko… Goodness knows what goes on in that head of her's…

* * *

I am the knight and she is the princess 

That is their how they see things. And because of that I feel this way.

Envy.

I felt it surge through me the very first time I met _her. She _was so perfect, so beautiful… So everything that I could only hope to achieve._ She_ was a princess, some thing I could never have been._ She_ was _his_ princess, the one thing I had hoped to be ever since childhood. I fought _him_, ever since I could remember, and every time I did, I lost. No matter how hard I trained, no matter how hard I tried, nothing ever happened. It was always the same, I never won, and I never could. And when _he_ willingly made _her_ his princess, my pride was crushed. Everything I worked hard for went up in smoke… All those years of humiliation, defeat, and hardship, wasted. And it was all because of _her._

When I first saw _her_ I resented _her._ How could _he_ have given in to _her_? When I worked so hard for _him_? _He_ chose _her _over me and it really hurt.

That's when the jealousy began to flourish, taking over my better judgment, and eating away at my abused feelings.

I never really did hate _her_, it was all just jealousy, maybe even bitterness, but I could never hate _her_. I was just angry that it was _she_ that _he_ chose as _his_ princess. Kind, beautiful, smart, graceful, gentle… Everything that I wasn't, and couldn't possibly be. _She_ was, there was no other word for it… Perfect. It was killing me.

When the Hokage was formed, again _she_ was the center of it all. _She_ was the one we were all fighting to protect.

_She_ was the princess of our group, and I once again had been shoved aside. I was immediately considered as one of _her_ knights. I was compelled to safeguard _her_ with complete disregard of my own life. I didn't mind it though, I couldn't. By then I had accepted _his_ love for _her _and had gotten over my infatuation with _him_. But that still didn't stop me from feeling the envy I had first felt when I met _her_.

The UBS came and we participated in it. Although we each had our own 'personal' reasons, our main purpose was to protect _her_, the princess. And as I knight, I couldn't object. I plunged into every battle pretending to believe that I was fighting for myself, but who was I kidding? It was _her_, all for _her_. Like a knight would a princess.

Uncertainty.

I was unsure. Unsure of myself. I knew that I wanted to hate _her_, wallow in my self-pity, and the like. But I couldn't. It was too much.

The 'ideal' I had formulated would only crumble away, leaving myself vulnerable to my vile wishes. My only concept, the only salvation I could hang on to for dear life was giving away.

A knight must be strong to protect the princess.

That was my only ideal. The very thing I had forced myself to perceive, and to recognize for the sake of the Hokage and _her_. But no matter how hard I clung on to it, it was disintegrating right there and then, as the uncertainty grew.

_Her_ stature was so unattainable, I couldn't possibly reach it. Although I did dream about it, I wasn't sure I really wanted to have it. How could I? I was tomboyish, ungraceful, loud, rough… in short a boy. A boy gone wrong. I had told myself once that my life would have been easier if I had been a boy. But then I had always been the biggest mistake.

I feared myself. But I always had a masochistic streak in me. There was no denying it. I wanted to let the bitterness to hurt me, consume me and leave me to agonize alone. It had to go, but it wouldn't. And that thrilled my inner masochist.

Longing.

I wanted one thing though. Out of everything. And that was the attention they were showering _her_ with. I know it may sound weird coming from me, but _she_ really isn't the only female in the group. It crushed me that most of them were so in love with _her_. They all fought and fawned over _her_. And it made me feel the most insignificant.

Oh how I wanted to take up _her_ place. But I'd most likely mess up had I been there. Besides I was a knight. How could I ever be someone like _her_?

And then _she_ decided to befriend a mistake, a knight, her protector, me. I felt angry and grateful at the same time, and I was torn… I accepted it any way, thinking if I couldn't be someone like_ her_ then I could at least be a friend to _her._ But the jealousy doubled, tripled even, because by being a friend to _her_, I would always see_ her_ perfectionThe princess in _her_.

The jealousy fed off the pain I harbored, and like a weed it grew in my heart suffocating all the good will in me. Tainting it blacker than it already was. I felt like an ingrate, a bitch. I felt too filthy to even be near some one like _her_. And it was as though I was faking the friendship _she_ had extended to me. But at the same time I was frustrated that _she_ even bothered to do what she had done.

It made me sick.

I really hate envying _her_, it hurt me so much. But the masochist that I was, was enjoying the perverse agony that I felt. Every pang of jealousy that reverberated through me, only served to slash through the chaotic din of my soul.

It disturbed me that some inner side of me was enjoying it very much, and that some where inside me craved this twisted need to torture my self more.

I wanted release to the bitter in me and stop fighting for _her_. But I couldn't, that would have been to selfish of me, too heartless… But I was dying inside already.

But knights could never do that to their princess. Never.

* * *

… … SweetbabyJesus she sound obsessed… Ah well, this is the product of being bored + bac-O high + sugar high + hyper + insane eviiiil-obsessed-story-a-majiger-thingy-muh-bob 

Please review! And flames will be most welcome! SweetbabyJesus I'm still high…. I am sincerely sorry if you wasted your time reading this… yeah I know it's a waste of … stuff…. Bleh SORRY! Oh and CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISIM is very much needed…. Unedited and unchecked because I'm lazy. Very lazy.

Soy el Rey de a perezoso! Ohohohoho! Tener mi pereza! Wehew. I hope I got that sentence right…. Soy loco… muy loco. Yo soy mas loco que otros gente…? Might me a one shot, or I might put chapter-lets. It depends on what muh review say.. wehew!


	2. Author's notes

Eyo! We all know how much people hate these Author's notes things (because I do)

But this is a must. I just want you guys to know that I'm not putting chapters in this story because it really seems like a dead end. A true blue one-shot that cannot be converted into a multi chapter story. SORRY ALL YOU FOLKS OUT THERE! I really wanted to meet your another chapter request but I couldn't… bweeee… I'm so sorry… How ever I will be posting up a new story. The sequel to this- with chapters! Yay! Ey, you guys look for it ha? Ergh…. now I feel so eviiiil for suggesting some thing I couldn't do… urgh.

I will just put my thank you-s here… ehehehe…

**Chidori- San**

Thank you so much for reading mai first piece, I am indebted to you… And yeah I will make Fuuko's life better in my next story, because I felt guilty right after…

And I really am sorry for cursing in Jesus' name… It's a bad habit I got from my brother which I am trying to rectify….

**Orange09**

Thank you for reviewing! It made me soooooo happy to see some one's review and opinion of may story. I will make her life better! Thank you for your compliment it make me happy to have received your review!

**Eyes of the Amethyst**

Hmm I wonder who this could be?

Haha just kidding... Thank you mastah…. I feel so proud now… whaaaa… I'm not really denying anything but… Thank yous any way… I feel so encouraged…. A review from mai mastah…. Wow…..

**Tsuki Hoshi Hikari **

You presumed right! Yay! Thanks for reviewing! Thank you for your compliment!

**The Mahogany lamp shade **

Eh… I'm sorry… I changed both since you said so… hope you like Good Charlotte… hehe…

But I needed to italicize negligence of your complain. Sorry. And it's alright, you didn't have to apologize at all it's your opinion and I really appreciate it. Thank you bunches for reviewing. And I promise not to use Jesus' name in vain! Yay!

To those who reviewed, thank you for voicing out your opinions. I really appreciated them, and made me feel like I hadn't wasted my time at all. THANK YOU GUYS!


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